alannarene: Goodbye PICU

Well, it's official. My last day at CHLA is this Saturday - St. Patrick's day. It was a really difficult decision. I work with the most talented nurses and I love my team! I have learned so much about life and death, spirituality, patience, and REALLY hard work! I have seen kids die unexpectedly and live miraculously. I have been yelled at, thanked, sworn at, almost hit, prayed for, fed, and hugged. It has been an emotional roller coaster. In the process of learning to be an ICU nurse, I have made some really great friends and I will miss them dearly. I hope they each find happiness and joy in their lives and that maybe a few will keep in touch :) Of course, that means I need to be better at getting on Facebook!

So what am I doing instead of working?

TV of course! No, I actually don't even have one...I actually will be focusing on my Nurse Practitioner degree. I also plan on doing a little volunteering as a practitioner in a homeless clinic. What I'm really hoping for (let's be honest) is a little more ME time. Is that selfish? I seriously miss having the weekends with my husband to hike with the pup, work on our garden and house, and have (occasional) dinner with the in-laws. I have spent so much time focusing on my schooling and nursing that I neglected my spiritual life and my passions. That is: neglect of self + working way too hard for any sane person = serious burn out, not the most compassionate nursing care and a LOT of neck pain. Hmm, maybe that's from studying too :) I hope to start developing all aspects of my personality and my talents, rather than just the nursing ones, like my creativity. Creating rejuvenates my soul. I don't know how to function without designing, photographing, painting, and anything crafty. I also find that being in nature strengthens my spirituality and helps me feel closer to God. How could I have neglected these 2 things for so long and actually functioned?

So to all my coworkers and friends: I love you!! Touch a life for me, save another, and bring a smile to every little kiddo that you care for. You are a remarkable team. I respect your intelligence, your kindness, your humor, and your ability to bless the people who are unfortunate enough to have a child in the PICU.

Goodbye CHLA. And thank you for making me the person who I am today.