I feel like I need to take a moment and reflect on some strong lessons I learned this weekend. Sometimes I get caught up in all the problems I see in the way the government is run, or our healthcare system, or the terrible drivers, or the "bad" parents who are yelling at their kids, or the homeless guy begging 2 blocks from my house...the list could go on. I feel guilty that I frequently fall victim to judging, making assumptions, getting annoyed.
I think it is only human to be wary of things around us that could potentially harm or take advantage of us. We have lived for eons trying to survive in a hard world. Today is really no different than when cavemen walked the earth; we just fight and struggle to survive in a world of social cruelty, inequality, stress, and overproduction, rather than in a fight for basic life essentials like food and water.
Well, this weekend I got a proverbial slap in the face telling me to stop being quite so pessimistic about the world. I feel like overall I am a pretty positive and easy going person (perhaps those closest to me would beg to differ). However, I do frequently find myself getting annoyed at "stupid" people for whatever reason. I don't really know why. Perhaps I'm tired. Perhaps it's just easier than having compassion and showing service and patience. Whatever it is, I learned a humbling lesson.
Friday started out as good as any day could start. I went on a short bike ride with the hubby then came home and had a big breakfast. We planned on running a few errands and then going to the OC Fair later that night. That is definitely NOT what happened. After going to the grocery store, I placed my wallet and cell phone in the baby seat of the cart while we unloaded the grocery cart into the trunk. Like a good customer, I brought the cart back to the cart return and then happily left on my way to the next project.
As you've probably guessed, yes, the wallet and cell was still in the cart when I left. And it wasn't there when I came back shortly after. Credit cards. Drivers license. RN license. CPR card. $60 cash. Student ID. And my iPhone 4.
Bummer.
The store manager didn't have it and we scoured the carts in the parking lot. Nothing. I immediately assumed someone took it and my identity. Before I could panic, the husband and I canceled our cards. We had to do it all online since we only have 1 phone. Our house phone (an internet phone) we let lapse because we never use it. His work phone, dead. My phone, stolen.
After canceling everything, I got online and tracked my iPhone. There it was, the little icon with the blue halo, sitting there at a very specific address in Ontario, CA, less than 10 minutes from my house. My overactive imagination started picturing someone sitting in their living room looking through my wallet, pocketing the cash, saving the drivers license to use for identity theft, and playing on my iPhone.
I felt violated. Stripped. Naked.
Why didn't I put a passcode on my phone?? I had one before but it annoyed me so I took it off. This person could literally learn who my parents were, what my dog's name is, where I lived (any time in the last 5 years), what bank I use, what type of music I listen to, and so much more. I realize much of that can be found on the internet, but I had at least set up better security on my personal social media.
Eventually the cops came. We filled out a report, showed him where the phone was at that moment, and he said he could do nothing. "It's out of our jurisdiction and its not high enough priority for us to call the other city PD." I wanted to say "but I am a taxpayer! Make it a high enough priority! That's my identity that someone is taking right now."
I was frustrated. I could see it. 10 minutes away. Blinking. Taunting. Laughing in my face. "I stole your phone and you'll never get it back because you are too afraid of getting shot to come to my neighborhood yourself, and the cops won't do anything for a stupid cell phone." I felt helpless.
After repeated phone calls, texts, emails everything to the phone with no response, we found the name and phone number of the people living there and called them. No answer. Five times, no answer.
The next morning, I wiped my phone. Thankfully my husband had set up my iCloud for me so I lost almost nothing - except my phone, $60, and possibly my identity. I accepted that I would not get any of that back. So we went to the cell store and started the process of getting a new phone.
Out of pure inspiration, the hubby had the thought of joining my family's family plan. thanks to a helpful representative and an amazingly patient father, I was able to combine my old grandfathered plan with my dad's own grandfathered plan, and save nearly $30 on our monthly bill.
Blessing #1: We will now save a great deal on our cell service.
I was amazed. On the way home I got a call from my Google Voice business number. I wasn't expecting any clients calling...maybe it was a new one.
On the other end was a nice girl named Jennifer. She worked with a woman, Rosa, who doesn't speak any English but wanted to call and try and find the owner of the wallet she found on Friday.
What?
In my head, I first thought, "you've got to be kidding me... I literally just bought a new phone, set up a new contract, and canceled my old service 5 minutes ago... 5 minutes..."
Then I thought, "is someone really saying they're going to return my wallet and phone? WHO does that anymore?"
Blessing #2: If I hadn't bought that new phone, I would have never received that call. My google voice only goes to my cell and she said she wasn't leaving any messages. How would I have known? She called at the perfect time.
I went to the place Rosa worked and met a very nice Hispanic woman. She was probably half my size and had a very kind face. She recognized me from half way across the store and called me over. She tried very hard to tell me what happened in English. I told her Spanish was ok and that I would understand, but she insisted on trying to speak English.
She then pulled out my wallet and gave it back. 100% intact. I tried to pay her. She certainly deserved a reward for doing the right thing. Her boss happened to be nearby and didn't let me. She adamantly refused payment. I hugged her. I cried. I thanked her profusely. I felt I didn't do enough.
I felt a wave of various emotions. Relief. Gratitude. Confusion (why didn't she answer our many many calls and texts asking for the phone back). Fatigue.
Mostly, I felt disappointment - in myself. Why had I automatically assumed the worst? Of course I should cancel the credit cards. That's just safety. But to assume my life was being taken from me? To assume someone was pocketing my cash and searching through my mail for anything useful.
I'm not disappointed those thoughts went through my head. Again, I'm only human. It's normal to feel fear. It's normal to be upset and to want to place blame on others. The thing I am disappointed in is that I didn't even consider that someone would return it. As soon as I lost it, I knew it was gone. I just knew. I suppose I "knew" there were no good, honest, decent people out there anymore too.
Blessing #3: Rosa reminded me to keep an eye out for the good people of the world.
Too often I forget that most people in this world really are GOOD decent people. The news, media, neighbors, even friends so often complain about EVERYTHING that it is hard to remember how many truly wonderful things and people there are in this world. I know 99.9% of the time, once I get to know someone a little better, I love them even more.
I hope that each of us can be reminded to act more like Rosa and to look for more Rosas in the world. I hope to do a little less judging and assuming and have a little more compassion and understanding.
May God bless you Rosa, where ever you are. You are truly an example of kindness and have blessed my life.
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